Salem Evangelical Lutheran Church

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

Things I learned from Noah's Ark...

1. Don't miss the boat.
2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
4. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
5. Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
6. Build your future on high ground.
7. For safety's sake travel in pairs.
8. Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
9. When you're stressed, float a while.
10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
11. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

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Amphibious Assault
After a lesson on World War II, a 7th grade class was given a test. One of the questions asked, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?" Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, the teacher was surprised to find on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."

Strawberry Patch
A woman came home from a nearby farm with two buckets of cow manure for her garden.
"What's that for?" asked her 6-year-old daughter.
"The strawberries, " Mom answered.
After staring at the buckets for a moment, the youngster asked, "Can I just have mine with whipped cream?"

(Copyright Gospel Communications International, Inc - www.reverendfun.com)

Breakfast Morals
Two young boys were waiting for breakfast one Saturday morning. As their mother was preparing pancakes, the boys began to argue loudly over who would get the first one off the griddle. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, he would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait', "she explained. The older boy immediately turned to his brother and said, "You be Jesus."

(Copyright Gospel Communications International, Inc - www.reverendfun.com)

God answers knee-mail.

(Copyright Gospel Communications International, Inc - www.reverendfun.com)